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 The Cosmic Ecstasy of Tantric Sex

Sex is one of the most intimate and deeply rewarding aspects of couple relationships. However, the purely physical aspect of sex is just the tip of the iceberg of what sex really is, and can be.

Since Life is deeply embedded in the core and nature of our universe, Life is a truly 'cosmic' thing - and hence, we are truly cosmic beings. And since sex serves the perpetuation of Life, it is also a truly cosmic thing - and we can quite easily tap into the awesome cosmic dimension of sex, and experience the mind boggling immensity of its natural and inherent trans-cosmic ecstasy.
 making cosmic love

Add to this the fact that we are eternal and immortal souls (whether we believe it or not), and that sex is a deeply intimate union between two such souls - a union which is forever engraved into all eternity - the awareness of this fact in our sexual relations can lift one into a dimension of ecstasy which can only be most inadequately described by the sensation of two vast galaxies engaged in a cosmic dance of ecstasy.

And just by being aware of the true cosmic nature of our selves, of Life and of sex, what you will experience is whole body, whole mind, whole consciousness, and whole cosmic-being sex and orgasms.

This brings us to the Tantra. Tantra is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice which seeks to endow all things - even going to the bathroom - with fully conscious awareness of our cosmic nature. And since sex is the crucible of our physical origin and existence, sex is considered and practiced as a direct avenue towards enlightenment - and Tantric philosophy transcends the bedroom into all aspects of life. In the Tantric view, sex and orgasm equal spiritual awareness at its peak. When Shiva, male energy, and Shakti, female energy, come into a sexual union, it is considered to be the highest point of enlightenment.

We all hold the key to Tantric sex: breath. If you can keep your body relaxed and your mind clear of all mundane things and centered in the cosmic, your "inner god" or "inner goddess" can be fully present. Using your breath, you can spread orgasmic energy from your genitals through your entire body. This totalitarian tingling can lead to a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner.

Despite all the talk of too-good-for-words orgasm, the big "O" is not the goal of Tantra. Instead, it's just being in the moment and riding a wave of sensation and arousal (yours and your partner's). If you focus on getting to one big bang at the end, you may miss out on tons of other "orgasmic joys" happening in your bodies along the way. Tantric instructors promise that in addition to fuller orgasms, women experience orgasm more quickly since they learn to become more relaxed and sensitized. Try these easy exercises, advises Margot Anand, a SkyDancing Tantra instructor in Los Angeles, to get you started.

Create a sacred space for lovemaking. Transform your bedroom. Awaken your senses with flowers, aromatherapy oils, scented candles, fresh fruit, and chocolates. Include sensual fabrics like silk - whether it's your sheets or your lingerie.

Shake your body alive:
Put on some "new age" music which describes the quiet "cosmic" wheeling of galaxies with a good heart-like beat, and stand with your legs hip-width apart, relaxing your body, and breathing through your mouth so that your breath travels down to your belly button. Shake your whole body - your legs, arms, hands, head, butt - for three minutes. "You've opened up all these places where there's tension and increased the sensitivity, allowing pleasure in," says Anand. "If you make love after doing that, it's more likely that you'll have a whole-body orgasm."

Breathe and rock. Sit on the bed or floor, facing your partner (she is on his lap). Start by closing your eyes, and use your imagination to watch your breath move in and out of your body. Start to allow your breath to go three inches below your belly button. Begin rocking like you're in a rocking chair, moving your chest forward as you inhale and rocking back as you exhale. Then, as you inhale and rock forward, tighten your genital floor muscles, and relax them as you exhale and rock back. "You will feel sexual sensations," says Anand. Stare into each other's eyes ("soul gazing") in full knowledge that you are cosmic beings, and breathe, rock, and pulsate together. "The amazing connection that you'll feel will blow your mind," says Anand. "Your energy fields merge so you're both in the same state, and are much more sensitive to each other. It's very electric."

Share a Tantric kiss:
Continue to sit and rock together - you inhaling while your partner is exhaling and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you'll discover yourself breathing his or her breath into your body and down to your sex organs. As you exhale, be conscious that you're sharing all of yourself with your partner. Then kiss and share the breath. "Intercourse is not even necessary because you're so merged," says Anand. "Tantra is about diving deeply into desire and pleasure. If you feel good and ecstatic, then you're on the right track."

Recommended reading: Although she is not aware, as far as I know, of our truly cosmic nature, and that we are eternal souls, the Tantric methods Margot Anand describes in her best-selling books "The Art of Sexual Ecstasy", "The Art of Sexual Magic" and "The Art of Everyday Ecstasy", were designed by the ancient Tantric masters to take one into that space.

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